Jetstream J

Jetstream J is the creeper friend of Bahamut2k456.

Classic Jesse (The School Era)
He runs a completely shitty single core Toshiba laptop that refuses to run properly. It restarts randomly during skype conversations and tries to play the game Sanctum while restarting. His computer is so amazing that Sanctum actually crashed on him but the game was still running in the background. How exactly this is possible has not been figured out yet.

He is known to have a love for Valve games, as he has been heard talking about a crazy shipment of Valve t-shirts and on one occassion has one picture that shows him in an Aperture Science t-shirt.

(Im)Mature Jesse (The College Era)
Jesse over the years developed this fascinating ability to only exist for three days out of the month, any attempt to locate him during the rest of the month is frutile. This ability is believed to have been caused by the acqusition of Valve Software and the gaming network Steam, which resulted in Jesse becoming Gabe "Give Me McDonalds" Newell and causing a rift in the gaming universe which resulted in nobody at Valve HQ being able to use the number 3 on their keyboards.

He also used his Mafia boss connections (namely, Baha's butthole) to acquire a new gaming computer, which has actually modern components, but a 3 watt PSU, which causes random reboots, Windows not booting, the conflict in Syria, and Chase's toenail being longer than usual.

Quotes
See JetStreamJ/Quotes.